President George W. Bush Announces Amnesty For All Marijuana Prisoners

By Samuel R. Caldwell
Special Federal Correspondent
April 1, 2008

In a surprise move today while visiting Kiev, Ukraine, in advance of NATO meetings, US President George Bush made a dramatic announcement that in one giant sweeping act of Executive Clemency he was freeing all 70,000 of America’s marijuana-only prisoners.

President Bush said, “I was down in Crawford last week…drivin’ my pickup ‘round the ranch, lookin’ for some brush to cut…turned on the radio…it was my buddy, my fellow Texan, Willie Nelson, he was singin’ “Bobbie McGee”. Well, right after that song finished, Willie came back on and did a PSA for NORML, you know, that marijuana group. I was sittin’ there in my truck alone, listenin’…and a guess what? A thought occurred to me. You know, I’m at the end of my term in office…and I’m never gonna be runnin’ to be elected for anything, ever again…That’s when I realized that freedom isn’t just another word, when you ain’t free. And I have the power to free America’s most harmless prisoners, the 70,000 marijuana- only prisoners.

After all, what Willie Nelson says is right…half of all adult Americans have smoked a doobie sometime in their life. Shoot, if the cops ever caught everybody who was breaking marijuana laws in America at the same time, you’d have to fence off a couple of states to make us a jail big enough to hold ‘em all. And you know, letting all those marijuana prisoners go, I’ll also be freeing up 70,000 prison cells for real criminals…or we could use some of the freed-up billions of dollars we were spending to lock those people up and spend the money for college scholarships…or fixing roads.

I was watching one of my all-time favorites TV shows last week, Real Time with Bill Maher, and agree with Rep. Barney Frank that the Congress needs to pass the ‘Make Room for Serious Criminals’ bill.

Lastly, in preparation for my last NATO meeting in Europe, my aides included recent writings from travel guru and author Rick Steves. Who can’t appreciate his practical advice?

The veteran Washington press corps was momentarily stunned by Bush’s dramatic pronouncement. And before they could ask a single question, President Bush waved his hand in the air and said, “That will be it for today. Thank you all for coming, but I’ve got to leave. I’ve got a very important meeting at 4:20 this afternoon with other heads of state.”

Suffer no fools this April 1st…support and contribute to NORML!

NORML Advisory Board Member Rick Steves Continues His ‘Cannabis Conversation’

Best selling author, TV travel guru and NORML Advisory Board member Rick Steves continues to advance in both mainstream print and radio the common sense notion that cannabis prohibition does not work at all well and that Europe is doing a better job with overall drug policy because most of their governments don’t harass and arrest cannabis consumers—and they incarcerate hardly any offenders.

Compare that to the United States where a consumer is arrested every 38 seconds on cannabis-related charges (830,000 cannabis arrests in 2006), and, as of 2004, there were over 69,000 ‘offenders’ in jail or prison.

Update: Continued kudos in the New York Times today for Steves’ honesty and foresight regarding the urgent need for America to re-evaluate federal cannabis policies.

NORML’s Weekly Legislative Round Up

Below is this week’s summary of pending state legislation and tips to help you become involved in changing the laws in your state.

NEBRASKA: In a major victory for pot-law reformers, Legislative Bill 844 – which sought to recriminalize minor marijuana possession offenses in Nebraska — has been amended. Under current state law, first-time marijuana possession offenses are punishable by a non-criminal citation and a $100 fine. As introduced, LB 844 sought to impose a sentence of up to 90 days in jail for first-time marijuana offenders. As amended, the proposal would increase the maximum fine for pot possession to $300, but would not impose criminal sanctions. The bill now awaits action from full legislature.

CALIFORNIA: California’s Dale Gieringer submitted written testimony opposing Assembly Bill 2389, which seeks to require drug testing for recipients of certain state benefits or cash assistance. Gieringer will testify before the Committee on Human Services in opposition to the proposal at a legislative hearing on Tuesday, April 1. Gieringer will also testify at an upcoming hearing in support of AB 2279, which seeks to end state employment discrimination against qualified medical cannabis patients.

HAWAII: The House Judiciary this week passed an amended resolution (HCR 49) that seeks to allow for state-qualified farmers to provide medical cannabis to authorized patients. The Senate Judiciary is expected to vote imminently on a separate measure, House Bill 2675, which seeks to establish a legislative task force to study issues pertaining to the legal supply of medical marijuana for authorized patients.

And finally, in non-state related legislative news, several newspaper columnists and editorial boards this week have endorsed Massachusetts Congressman Barney Frank’s pending legislation to strip the federal government of its authority to arrest responsible cannabis consumers. You can read examples here, here, and here.

Snapshots from Boston: Update on Commonwealth v. Cusick and Stroup

When the court clerk finally called our case, the judge almost immediately called the attorneys to a bench conference, where he quickly indicated he would not have the time to hold this evidentiary hearing, but that he would refer the case to another judge in another courtroom, and we would have our evidentiary hearing that very day.

Attorney Matt Feinberg; law student Brendan Hickey; Co-Defendant Rick Cusick; Lester Grinspoon, M.D.; Co-Defendant Keith Stroup; Professor Charles Nesson; and Keith Saunders, Ph.D.

We had actually filed a motion to dismiss the case, based on our allegation that the marijuana laws are unconstitutional, and we had requested a full evidentiary hearing where we could call a number of witnesses to make our case. We had expected that the 30-page affidavit from Lester Grinspoon, M.D., would be sufficient to convince a judge to schedule an evidentiary hearing in 30 or 45 days. We were certainly not anticipating holding a hearing that very day, nor would we expect the government would be ready to hold such a hearing without some time to prepare their case.

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Drug Czar’s Office Lies About New Hampshire Pot Proposal

It took less than one week for the White House to begin publicly lying about New Hampshire House Bill 1623, which seeks to make the possession of up to one-quarter ounce of pot a fine-only offense.

In a factually and grammatically challenged press release, Deputy Drug Czar Scott Burns alleged that the proposal — which passed the House last week by a 193 to 141 margin — would decriminalize the “manufacturing” and “distributing” of “over 90 marijuana joints.”

Okay, aside from the fact that the measure applies to possession offenses only, one has to ask, what is up with the White House calculators? If one-quarter ounce of pot equals roughly seven grams, and if one joint contains roughly one gram of marijuana, then what the Hell does the Drug Czar’s office think is in the other 83+ joints?

Of course, regardless of whether it’s the Deputy Drug Czar Scott Burns, White House Drug Czar John Walters, or UN Drug Czar Antonio Maria Costa, there’s not a Drug Czar alive who can’t help but lie about marijuana. (more…)